lycannoir: shiny stock of wizard of oz slippers (Default)
SPOILER ALERT FOR ENTIRE POST. But they're... forever old spoilers, since I'm on my first watch-through.

It is absolutely not okay with me. I knew that it was coming, but I just simply wasn't prepared. I knew that he died toward the end of Season 5, but I was expecting it to somehow be connected to the season finale, as such catastrophic things usually are. The fact that they threw a curve ball was actually probably a good thing from a writing perspective, but there's a tiny part of me that feels betrayed. Even knowing he's going to come back, I don't think I can remember the last time I was rattled so much by the events of an episode since Doomsday (Doctor Who).

I did cry a bit, and I felt that the episode was actually pretty well done, in spite of the fact that I didn't want to admit this since I was so angry and heartbroken that Daniel was dying.

I think that the most difficult thing to deal with was the abruptness of the beginning of the episode. The fact that Daniel knew more or less what was happening to him from the start, was still able to act very much like himself at first, and that they really didn't give us any fair warning within the show itself made it feel like a stomach punch to me. I realized, from their body language, even before they opened their mouths what was going on, but even that second's realization didn't help anything.

I must say, first and foremost, that even if I hadn't admired Daniel (obviously I do) prior to this episode, that this would have made a very good case for winning me over. I have seen a lot of "worthy" deaths from characters in the sorts of shows I watch. Many people have died doing honorable things, saving the world, sacrificing themselves, jumping in front of the bullet, etc. The fact that Daniel's death combines all the aforementioned kinds of deaths is a testament to who he is, I think. Daniel's relationship with being Action Man has been very fair weather at best, but in the most crucial decision-making moment of his life--and think about it, he's had a lot of those--he leapt into action. However, this wasn't the bravado, blind sort of action that Jack likes to jump into. Daniel didn't jump into a plot device. Well, not really, if you don't take into consideration all of the meta reasons that Michael Shanks wanted Daniel out of the primary cast at the time. Everything about what he did was very much what Daniel had become in the previous five years.

However, I must make further distinction about the fact that Daniel's jumping into the fray wasn't like jumping in front of a bullet for someone that one cares about. In fact, it was even more brave, more determined, more selfless, than something like that would have been. Granted, had the radioactive thingamajig bomb thing exploded, it probably would have wiped out at least three people Daniel cared very deeply for, the bigger thing that Daniel was doing was saving the lives of hundreds and hundreds of people he had never met. Furthermore, bullets lead to quick bleeding out, and the suffering only lasts for a few minutes if you're going to bleed out. If you're not going to bleed out, there's usually something they can do about bullets. Daniel is smart enough, educated enough, to realize that there is literally nothing human technology can do about radiation poisoning. He grabbed hold of the radioactive thing (I keep calling it that because I was too emotional to bother remembering its name) knowing that it was going to kill him--slowly and painfully at that. In my opinion, this would be a much more difficult decision than facing some quick death that would happen on your feet with much more supposed dignity.

As if Daniel dying wasn't bad enough, the way he died was just about enough to finish me off.

Daniel's assessment of his life also broke my heart. Part of me wanted to shout at him and tell him the truth about the fact that his life had not been a failure. Honestly, part of me felt like he was being a little bit self-indulgent during part of the scene with Oma Desala, but I kind of feel like he was entitled to be... Being very, very young to die, I would imagine it hard for anyone to just let go when they felt as though they had failed to accomplish many (or any) of the things they had hoped to.

On a couple of other notes, I must say that this episode send my J/D shipper bunnies to hopping when they weren't sobbing. Even keeping the shipper bunnies at bay, there was no way to stop being touched by the portrayal of their friendship in this episode. Beyond that, however, the way that their final interactions with Daniel conscious went never once strayed from the way they typically acted with one another--snarking, arguing, rinse, repeat--felt right. Part of me wanted both of them to say what they meant--particularly Jack, of course--but somehow it also seemed to just fit that some things between them really didn't need to be said, or maybe couldn't be said... something that was there but that hadn't had the opportunity to achieve the fullness of its time.

Jack's willingness to go against the grain isn't anything new, but the particular way in which he wanted to do it wasn't entirely familiar to me. He was willing to go above and beyond what is typical for him for Daniel's sake in order to save his life. Of course, I think he has done that for his entire team multiple times, but in these, as in other scenes (even with Sam and Teal'c), sometimes what Jack doesn't manage to say with his mouth, he says with his eyes. The amount of absolute desperation in trying to save Daniel at times just absolutely made my stomach turn into little pretzels.

Second note, in the spirit of multi-shipping, I also was surprised at the tonality of Sam trying to tell Daniel how she felt about things. Teal'c's goodbye was very much what I expected--there was no question of sexual tension (as I'd argue is there at times with both the other two), no equivocation. Just honesty.

Sam was very, very honest, but in a way that she rarely is because she finds it unprofessional. I was reminded of a scene from one of the earlier episodes (Solidarity, I'm fairly sure), when she and Daniel had the conversation about detachment, and she said, "Sometimes I forget you're not military."

There was some correspondence between the two moments--like bookends--and while I typically prefer to read their relationship as a platonic, even familial sort of bond as they are both the two sides of SG1's collective brain in a sense, I guess the delivery of her final words to him raised some questions in my mind. "What really matters"--she knew this because of him, specifically? And, "hope you always knew"---knew what, exactly?

That's enough for tonight about that episode which shall live on in my mental infamy, but I am very emotionally drained...


(Please do not be foreshadowing, Cosmos.)

That is all.

RPing Meme

Jan. 23rd, 2010 09:38 pm
lycannoir: shiny stock of wizard of oz slippers (Default)
Shamless self promotion and egotism with the hopes that maybe the info might become handy.

Where and when did you start RPing?
I can't even remember at this point. I started doing it before I even knew what it was, though admittedly the first RPing I did was rather immature and bad.

Do you RP anywhere other than LJ?
MSN, and less frequently AIM.

Do you play in any public games?
I was and still currently am a member of (LJ)au_hetalia, but it's not been terribly active lately, unfortunately. I tried to get involved with (LJ)aph_worldasylum, but that never got off the ground. I also joined (LJ)vagina_army at one point for my friend's sake, only to find out I generally suck at genderbending.

Do you prefer first-person comment spam or prose logging?
Prose-logging. I don't like RPing in first person without the exposition. At least, that's the answer if I understood this question correctly.

What was the first character you ever played?
I want to say that it might have been Kagome from InuYasha, Anzu from YuGiOh, or Keiko from YuYu Hakusho. One of those. But that was back when I had no idea what I was doing. In my most recent stint into roleplaying, the first characters I played were China and Holy Roman Empire from Axis Powers Hetalia.

Who's your favorite character to play now and why?
Daniel Jackson! I like playing him because I relate to him a lot and we're very similar people, so it's not terribly difficult to navigate my way through his characterization. However, since he's male and has a handful of different viewpoints, I find it enough of a challenge to not just be playing myself in a male body.

What's the longest you've ever consistently played one character?
Hungary from Hetalia, because I played her over AIM and MSN with two different people for quite a while.

What's your biggest RP pet peeve?
OOCness that is used as a driving force for the "plot". Some people, rather than doing PWP, like to pretend the RP has a plot but the plot is ENTIRELY driven by out of character behavior and dialogue. If you want to do PWP, I may or may not RP with you, but don't pretend to have a plot and then disappoint me... Also, I'm sympathetic to OOCness, but only to a point--after that it really upsets me.

Do you read RP secrets and the RP anon meme?
I haven't at this point but may start if I get bored.

If you've played in public before, do you prefer community based or journal based games?
Again, I'm slightly confused by the question, but I'm pretty sure I prefer community based due to the fact that monitoring multiple journals.

Would you rather play with someone who's very very IC but a mediocre writer or someone who isn't always IC (but not terrible) and a great writer?
I think the more you write, the better you get at it. Therefore, I'd rather start RPing with someone who at least wanted to be consistently IC, because even if their writing is mediocre, they will continue to improve, and a desire to be IC is the mark of a good writer. I'm not going to fuss at someone because of lapses in character as long as they try! :)

Do you have an "RP partner"?
I used to RP with several people, but nowadays I seem to just RP with my friend Val ((LJ)sheeana) who is awesome. Still, I miss having a variety of people so I didn't have to feel like I was bugging one person all the time. Hint, hint, anyone want to give it a go? ;)

Do you ever stalk any casts, games, or players? Who?
No, not really.

In your opinion, which part of an app is the most difficult/annoying?
First person sample. I find it really difficult to come up with something compelling without the benefit of an at least somewhat omniscient or objective voice. It feels unnatural for a person to describe all their surroundings in that way.

Are you one of those people who has to customize their character's journal layout and userinfo?
I did for [profile] holyromanreich but have never gotten around to it for [profile] opium_aru. If I did another character in the future I probably would.

What was your first game?

Are there any canons you avoid tagging characters from?
Um... no. Not really. If I'm interested enough to care about a universe and want to RP within it, I don't see why I would. I either have a character muse or I don't and I'll try (almost) anything once.

Most memorable scene in any thread?
I'm not sure. The thing is, most of the people and scenarios I have RPed were brilliant, so I can't choose just one. The handful of times it wasn't that great obviously weren't impressive enough to stand out in my mind, so I can't say I've ever had anyone who was so bad at it that I remembered it for negative reasons either. So I guess my answer to this question is that the things I remember most are the friendships I develop with those with whom I RP. We end up with these little inside jokes, and RPing can be strangely intimate because of the amount of thought-sharing that gets done within it. That, and I'm just a sentimental sort of person.

Do you RP sex?
Yes. As long as there's no actual harm done to anyone, I'm pretty okay with RPing almost anything. The only real pet-peeve I have is RPing sex strictly for the sake of sex. Even if an RP partner and I know that's where it's headed, I like SOME attempt at an explanation as to how it came to that, especially in relationships that aren't established.

Do you play more males or females?
Lately, males, but I don't mind either way. Both are fun in their own way.

What won't you RP?
Anything involving the permanent harming of someone or anything but surface, incidental blood (oh, I fell and cut my hand kinda stuff is okay). I'm all for dealing with psychological trauma that a character can heal from or doing hurt/comfort stuff after the fact, but I don't like RPing the gory. Rape is included in gory ew no never. Although, some dubcon is okay... depends on situation. Anything else I've come across is fair game.

Dressing rooms: yes or no?
I don't really understand them, so...

Ever RPed a pairing?
Oh yes. Often, I must admit, I prefer playing characters with, at the very least, UST. Even if it doesn't come to any fruition, the chemistry is so fun to write.

Favorite place to play: musebox, open posts, public games, private games?
Any kind of instant messenger is my preferred method as long as people remember to turn logging on. It's so frustrating because I log EVERYTHING, but sometimes my computer freezes and MSN refuses to log for me because it logs AFTER you shut the window (which is a huge design flaw, but whatever).

Talking RP with someone else who plays your character: fun or awkward?
It's fun to compare notes! Also, when I RP with someone and I typically take one character out of a pair, it's fun to switch it up every now and again. It staves off boredom and offers interesting character insights.
lycannoir: shiny stock of wizard of oz slippers (Default)
Cross-posted to my Fandom Journal on LiveJournal.

Title: I Know You're There
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Romance, Angst
Characters/Pairings: Daniel/Sha're
Rating: Same as the show? Unless you hide from kissing, no worries here.
Warnings/Notes: The source material I was working from (Children of the Gods, Secrets, and Forever in a Day clips) made fluffy bunnies spring forth in my heart. ...then they started crying and slitting their wrists. Or at least attempting to. ...sad, but nothing someone who likes to commemorate the FIRST canon (or even canon-ish) Stargate ship can't handle. Uses the song "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban.

Download Link: I Know You're There


lycannoir: shiny stock of wizard of oz slippers (Default)

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